Chapter 1-2

 

***

Whenever I told my acquaintances that I work as a florist, most of them would get excited and sounded envious. Meanwhile, from a florist's perspective, working with flowers wasn't as flowery as the impression it gave. In fact, it probably closely resembled some random uncle in the bread factory who kneaded dough on a daily basis. Still, I would feel bad to shatter their imagination, so I usually just respond with a stiff cackle. 

My workplace, “Hanazakarimai” had a pretty decent reputation amongst locals.

The wage was quite great, they even provided bonuses and paid leave. For overtime, the frequency was probably around once a week. This place was also close to my apartment.

Except for the fact that I had a bad compatibility with flowers, overall this shop was a pretty satisfactory workplace.

People who had their interests aligned with their jobs wouldn’t be that many. As for me, this place was the result of my random choice. In general, I believe that ‘society’ was filled with many unreasonable, unexplainable things…such, was my excuse for my life, despite the fact that I initially eyed a stable, normal company worker position.

The clock turned 10, time for watering the flowers. The reason behind that precise time was explained during my first day. It had something to do with sunlight or whatever, but I forgot since I had zero interest.

“Ya sure are aloof as always eh, Matsuri.”
“You too look blazing as always, Shirakumo-san.”
“Eh, which part? Did you say that I look passionate?”
“Nah, you hair colour.”

The red strands flowing around the air. I truly couldn’t get used to her tall figure bringing around that small watering pot.

Her piercing that reflected lights resembled a slight glow that pierced through clouds in the skies.

Her name was Shirakumo Tsubasa, my senior at work. If I wasn't mistaken she was supposed to be 32 years old and she previously chased after her dream as a musician, but once she hit 30 she went back to her parents’ home.

Her flashy hair colour that was an eyesore apparently a keepsake from the old days. It had faded quite a lot, but I was still curious with the colour beneath.

“Even though these flowers are so pretty, why would ya hate them?”
“Despite the fact that they grow using human’s helping hand, they dare to grow so beautiful might be my main reason.”

Splash, splash.

I slightly tilted the watering pot to the flowers. Giving them too much water could lead to disease, so the amount of water given should be just enough to wet the soil. It was because flowers were delicate creatures, truly pointless beings.

“If these flowers get thrown in the street, I bet they would wither in less than three days.”

I spoke under my breath so that no one could hear my mumble. Imagine someone heard a florist spout things like that, things would be terrible.

“Such a waste, ya even had a lot of greeneries on ya.”
“It has nothing to do with that. This hatred isn’t hereditary since I acquired it along the way.”

Hanaseri Matsuri (花芹茉莉)

Just like what Shirakumo-san said, I had the characters of grass crown (艹) in all four of my name’s characters. The first thing they asked during my interview was that, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that I was accepted thanks to my name.

You were born to work as a florist!

The manager appeared extremely joyful to the extent that I even received special treatment. It was going on for only the first six months, though.

Other’s passion was something you could figure out after some observation anyway. They would feel uneasy whenever they saw these dead eyes on a daily basis. Although, since I properly moved my body and did my job, no one could do anything as they had no room for complaints. 

Perhaps, others always perceive me as someone who was hidden behind some thin films, some kind of barrier.

“Also, Shirakumo-san, your speaking manner slipped back.”
“Aa? Oops that ain’t good. Manager would beat the shit out of me… No, manager would beat me out… Too rough, manager would scold me.”
“Still far from serving the customers, eh.”
“The heck is that, which part of me is no good, huh?”
“I’m taking my break now.”

This jerk, hold your feet! I faintly heard her complaint from behind. It was definitely not the kind of voice you should hear from a florist. An unruly bar waiter…or even a courier would be far more fitting for that kind of shriek.

I climbed the stairs while shrugging my shoulders.

“I told you numerous times!”

Whoops.

Just seconds before I entered, I heard an angry voice that was at least fitting for a florist, so I halted my steps.

“Please ask us whenever you have something you want to know, it’s also normal for a newbie to make mistakes. But, please remember what you’ve been taught! You keep repeating the same mistake so I can’t let you off this time. Do you even want to do your job?!”

Slowly, I peeked inside the room behind the door, it was a scolding session. Well, people didn’t have to see to figure it out based on the noise though.

The one who got scolded, if my memory serves right, was a part-timer Tateyama-san who joined us last month. She kept bowing while muttering apologies. Her age was around my mother, and she emitted an aura of unreliability.

I held my breath while entering the room, but then my eyes met with the vice manager’s eyes who was in the middle of scolding. Meanwhile Tateyama-san still glued her eyes on the floor beneath her feet.

“Just  take a note or whatever, and please focus on your job. You can’t keep counting on others to cover for you.”
“My apologies, my apologies.”

After bowing her head a few times toward the younger vice-manager, Tateyama-san left the break room.

When I poured my attention to my carton juice and my rice ball, the vice manager sighed and started to complain.

“Why won’t she get it, I wonder.”
“Slurp, slurp.”

Ah, the timing made it like I responded to her grumbling.

“This work is pretty easy, right? I do get that once you turn that age it would be difficult to remember things, but still… What do you think, Hanaseri-san?”
“Eh, are you asking me.”
“Yes, concerning Tateyama-san. She’s truly bad at memorising stuff so I started to consider hiring another person.”

Vice manager who looked frustrated while massaging her temple, and me who savoured the taste on my palate.

“Well, it makes sense. This is a case of professionalism after all.”

People come and go, that’s a normal occurrence in a workplace.

The useless one would be weeded out, while the brilliant one would also go away once they had a better opportunity. They would also kick you out if you were problematic. Hence, it would be normal to later realise that people come and go so many times.

In the end, the people who stayed were the shallow ones who lost their dream which was crushed by numerous responsibilities. They had no desire to blame those who were leaving, nor accepting themselves who stuck in their path.

“Hanaseri-san, what kind of person do you want to work with?”
“Someone who does their job, I guess.”
“Of course, right.”

Vice manager sure had gotten thinner these past years.

Perhaps it had something to do with her daily task to confront people’s emotions, of course it would wear her away. Grey hairs that started multiplying, also the rising frequency of anger due to her increased fatigue. Moreover, she often wore short skirts back then, but the clothes began to cover her knees as of late.

I pretty much distanced myself from troubles, so the amount of time I spent with the vice manager wasn’t that much. Nevertheless, the differences were so clear, but in the end nothing could stop the flow that brought those delicate changes.

“I’m really a terrible supervisor, huh.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Maybe because of the way I reprimanded her. If only I could put it in a nicer way since she isn’t a robot, or something along those lines. Don’t you agree?”

She looked quite guilty based on her expression. Hurting while also getting hurt, quite a balance there.

“If she hates it, she should just quit.”
“You really are indifferent, Hanaseri-san.”

Of course in a good way, the vice manager added the sentences in the end with a simple sigh.

I heard that for the second time today. What on earth was this, bullying?

“Should I just consult the manager, hmm.”

She rested her back on the wall and gazed at the ceiling, trying to think of her next course of action.

She sure had it rough, was my sole thought on this case. My lunch sure tasted bland for some reason.

“Ah, right, Hanaseri-san. It seems like we have overtime today, are you okay?”
“Yes, I am.”
“That’s a big help. It’s okay to turn it down once in a while, you know?”
“Well, I don’t have anything to do at home anyway.”

That moment, Sumire entered my mind.

This morning we left the house together and I handed her a single 500-yen coin and a spare key.

It might have sounded like we were close sisters or something, but since we headed in opposite directions, we instantly went our separate way.

I wonder if right now she attended the class like a ghost, just like what she did in the room. Come to think of it, since she moved, her commuting route should’ve changed, it didn’t cross my mind before. But on a second thought, she probably would manage somehow, so I instantly discard the thought.

“Then, can I ask you a favour?”

The vice manager looked apologetic while putting her hands together.

“Can you stick with Tateyama-san and give her some pointers today?”
“Huh? But today is supposed to be Takahashi-san’s shift, no?”

The task of guiding new hires fell on Takahashi-san’s lap as a ten years veteran, of course Tateyama-san included.

“Actually Takahashi-san told me this morning that guiding Tateyama-san is an impossible task. She couldn’t remember the rope even after many times and just adding more work, causing an unwanted exhaustion. Which is why a new mentor might be necessary…”

…so she wasn’t included.

“Besides, Takahashi-san is quite harsh during lessons, right? Actually, it worries me greatly.”

For her, who was younger than Takahashi-san, reprimanding the method won’t be easy even as a vice manager, eh.

“Still, why me? It’s been two years, but it’s not like I already ace everything. It would be better if you ask someone else.”
“Do you have someone else on your mind?”
“...Shirakumo-san.”
“Poor Tateyama-san.”

I couldn’t help but agree that we laughed together.

“This is my personal opinion, but I think you aren’t someone who could hurt others.”
“Do I look kind?”
“Umm…not really. If I should pick a word, you are more like a frank person.”
“I see.”

I didn’t get it.

Against me who was puzzled, she stared at me in amusement.

“Kindness is important, but you look robust enough to act as someone else’s support. Have you ever hated someone before?”

The way she worded it gave an impression like she was describing a machine. Besides, even someone like me of course has…not? In the first place, what was hate…was it different from vexation…

“See, it’s important. Also, it’s a wonderful thing.”
“What about you then, do you have someone you hate?”
“That’s a given, right? For example, that.”

She gestured something by placing her hand on her chin and moving it like caressing some invisible beard. Ah I see, she was impersonating the owner who rarely paid a visit. I was secretly convinced. Thus, considering her position, she probably often received complaints in his place. It probably became the source of her hostility.

Come to think of it, up until now I never really classify people based on my emotion toward them, especially single them out based on my feelings. But saying that I don’t understand the feeling of ‘affection’ would be too much…I think…alright…yeah. It was simply a matter of experience.

Perhaps it was because she saw how hard I thought about this, but the vice manager made a gentle expression.

“Don’t worry, I like you that way, Hanaseri-san.”
“Thank you, I also like you, Miss.”

Once the words escaped my mouth, I felt a sense of discomfort... Or not, nope, definitely not.

The reason behind this awkward silence was probably because she was in the same awkward state as me, but then she shyly laughed.

After that, I did as requested, which became Tateyama-san’s support for the day. Apparently she worked at an office before, so I taught her some tasks that required Excel such as stock order. Also stuff like filling in a check sheet for newly arrived flowers inspection, and other things to do.

Things we did weren’t particularly difficult, but Tateyama-san appeared troubled a lot throughout the training and during that situation, she would mutter an apology. Since she was taking note so earnestly in everything down to details, our work speed greatly reduced, so we couldn’t finish our to-do list which resulted in Takahashi-san’s anger.

Seeing me who got roped in due to her fault, Tateyama-san profusely apologised again. When I saw her frantic apology, I couldn’t help but think that if apologising was a job, she would definitely ace it, it might be her calling.

Each person had a different memorising ability, I also wasn’t someone with a great memory to begin with. On top of that, I had zero interest in my job and I also didn’t feel any sense of accomplishment when I was done with it. The only drive I had was simply a responsibility to do everything on the list, and done. 

“Well, just don’t dwell too much. Worst case, we can just take a walk to a park and pick whatever flowers there.”

Bad luck, Takahashi-san overheard my words and we headed to the second round of scolding. Before it fully unfolded, I said, “It was a slip of mouth,” and escaped. When our eyes met, Tateyama-san seemed taken aback with my statement.

***

“Ah, finally done.”

I hummed while inserting my key, oddly it didn’t work that I tilted my head.

“Ah.”

Come to think of it, I finally remembered about that and stepped inside my apartment. Still, it sure was dark. Could it be that everything was a dream, I secretly wished it really was while turning on the lights.

“Uwaa!”

That was surprising. As usual, Sumire sat in the corner of the room. It seemed like she was also quite surprised with my reaction. You should have noticed ever since the moment I opened the door, shouldn’t you?

“Why didn't you turn on the lights?”
“......”

No answer.

Well, bean sprouts grow better in the dark place anyway, was my instant thought when I caught a glimpse of her thin legs which appeared from her wrinkled skirt.

I put my meal inside the microwave and ate it, it didn’t taste particularly delicious. Unfortunately, people die when they don’t eat, so I kept munching my meal despite the bland taste.

From the other side, Sumire observed me who was in the middle of eating. I think, this moment was the first time our eyes met. When I had a good look on her face, I just realised that she resembled a doll with those nice features. Petite face, small stature compared with normal high school students, truly a distinctive feature of a doll.

On second thought, this look is quite common for high school girls nowadays, no? Smooth and supple, unblemished skins without wrinkles. Although they should keep in mind that everything was limited until high school, I secretly warned them of the unavoidable reality.

That moment, I could hear a growl from Sumire’s stomach.

“Could it be that you haven’t had dinner yet?”

While she didn’t nod or shake her head, I could guess the answer based on her eyes that started getting wet.

It might be unavoidable, since when I recollected the scene this morning, I only gave her a single coin. 500-yen would be cutting close for lunch, of course dinner would be out of the question.

I moved the rice from the packaging into a bowl, took an egg from the refrigerator and cracked it on top of the rice. I also handed the small shoyu I had and placed both the bowl and the shoyu on the table. I gestured to Sumire to come closer and eat, she appeared a bit taken. Nonetheless she scooted closer and sat across from me.

“You can use that shoyu as a topping for the rice and the raw egg, just mix it well, I assure the taste.”

Sumire perked up as she heard me and saw the warm meal before her. She stared at it still. Just eat it, won’t you.

“...ank you for the food.”

Oo.

She spoke.

My first time hearing her voice, and it reminded me of a baby bird’s chirps.

I observed her movement as she put her hands together in front of her face as she thanked the food. She sure was a well-mannered kid. Thanks to her parents, I guess. Then, she clapped her hands properly, bowed, clapped once again, bowed again…wait, that was too much, don’t you think?

“Is it good?”

Against my question, Sumire moved her cheeks like a squirrel while nodding.

While seeing her reaction, I also stuffed my cheeks with the karaage.

“Was this morning enough to cover your commuting expenses?”

Since I was once again reminded of that, I tried to ask her. Against my question, Sumire looked dejected as she shook her head.

“Eh, then what did you do? You weren’t walking, were you?”

Nah, of course not, I tried to convince myself while moving my gaze on her legs, beneath those socks.

I tried to look for Sumire’s school on my phone. Since sailor uniforms were a rarity nowadays, it was easy to search for it due to the reviews that mainly talked about the cute uniform design.

“Uh-huh, so it took around 1.5 hours by walking.”

I see. Now that I know the circumstances, of course a mere 500-yen wouldn’t be enough. She would even be lucky if she managed to do a single trip.

My mother said that this shorty’s school was close to my place and that was the reason why she should live with me, but it was a train definition of close, huh.

Which means, we should make a commuting pass. What a pain in the ass…

When Sumire saw a colour of doubt from my face, she swiftly straightened her back. Looking scared, she took the bowl from the table and moved back to her initial corner.

“She sure looks sturdy, but also jittery?”

For now, it was good enough that she was willing to go to school. If by any chance she turned into a truant and I should act as her therapist, then without any hesitation I’d throw her out from my window. 

I wasn’t kind enough to do any of that anyway.

Everything I did was for my own sake. Things like belief or dream had nothing to do with me since I only wanted normal and uneventful days in my life, I was that kind of aloof person. Since I’ve been told that traits of me twice today, I had no other choice than come to terms with it.

Seeing the scared Sumire as she slumped her shoulders made me wonder if she thought this dull me as a cruel person.

Once I snapped back to reality, my karaage had turned cold, I no longer had any willingness to move my chopstick.

“I’m full, so eat this.”

Since I also had no appetite in the first place, I left the rest of my meal on the corner. Sumire looked troubled as her gaze moved back and forth between me and the meal.

She must've hesitated, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask which made her lost on how to handle this. For some reason, she reminded me of Tateyama-san.

“...ank you.”

“Nn.”

I really felt like it was an unneeded gratitude since I did that not for the others’ sake. Which was probably why her slight gratitude felt a bit ticklish.

Sumire took the meal from my hand, stood up, and resumed her dinner on the table. She appeared joyful as she stuffed her cheek with a small piece of karaage and the raw egg rice.

“A support, huh.”

I stared at the ceiling while remembering what the vice manager said to me. I wondered if adding one extra person in this house would blemish that clean ceiling.

“Sumire.”

Just one thing, I would set this straight.

Society taught us to be considerate of others, for example by humouring other people who talked to you, such useless stuff. 

Truthfully, I had zero interest in building a harmonious relationship just like what society taught me. Could it be that I felt some kind of responsibility to do this properly as a part of society?

Sumire stared at me with widened eyes. There was rice grain in the corner of her mouth.

“You don’t need to be that reserved, since it bothers me.”

She wouldn’t turn on the light or the television without my permission, seeing these kinds of things unfolding right next to me would be too unbearable. They entrusted me to babysit this high school girl, not confine her, right? ...right? 

That would depend on what will happen from now on, huh. Oo, this turned terrifying.

Sumire didn’t show any response, but it wasn’t like I expected some kind of answer from her so I stood up from my chair.

After that, I properly took my bath, done with it, and it was Sumire’s turn to use the bathroom.

Then again, I was reminded of Sumire’s unruly hair.

“Hmm.”

Yesterday she didn’t take long for her bath, could it be that she was holding back from using any amenities?

Driven by that curiosity, I took a quick look at the bath.

When I opened the door, Sumire, who noticed my presence, turned red in seconds and flusteredly hid her body. It was kind of pointless considering the amount of bubbles covering her entire body that I couldn’t see any.

Nah she used too much, didn't she.

…she truly was a weird fellow.

***

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