Chapter 2-1
***
“Matsuri”
Uuuh.
“Wake up, Matsuri, hey.”
What’s up? Who?
I was a woman who lived alone. It wouldn’t make any sense to have someone else wake me up.
If I wasn’t mistaken, I had a drinking party last night. The participants were vice manager, Shirakumo-san, also, who else was there? Crap, I couldn't remember. I drank quite a lot according to my vague memory.
I tried to dive into my hazy memories to find the culprit of this terrible hangover… It was that redhead delinquent, yup.
Could it be that I was so drunk that I ended up spending a night with someone? It wasn’t like I cared about my chastity, but surely this was another means of trouble.
I opened my eyes so I could figure out the truth. Then I saw my room, so for now it was reassuring.
“It’s morning, Matsuri.”
“Aa?”
It wasn’t a man’s voice, or Shirakumo-san’s brash way of speaking, or the vice manager’s refined tone.
The voice that called my name was quiet, it reminded me of the birds chirping outside the window.
“Morning.”
A high school girl sat on top of me.
She wore a polka dot-motif pajama which wasn’t very high school girl-like, but apparently age wise, that wear was fairly okay.
Starting last week I started to babysit her, a high school girl named Momoyama Sumire. The reason why I was chosen was easy to guess, it was simply because adults were an existence who hate troubles. I was the same, but I completely lost against them in terms of authority.
“I’m hungry.”
“Geh.”
It felt like she crushed my stomach.
Sumire moved around on top of me like she thought she rode a horse. Nonetheless, since my room appeared unchanging and real, I discarded the dream theory and became convinced of my reality.
“Err, you, who are you? Huh, who am I anyway?”
“Bre~ak~fast~”
This fellow had nothing inside her head other than eating, huh?
“Haa.”
Playing amnesia just after waking up could only last until here, let’s face the truth now.
I gave up and then lazily woke up, Sumire let out a carefree grin.
“Good morning, Matsuri.”
“Aa, morning.”
“I already cleaned the table.”
“Let me wash my face first, please.”
Winter’s freezing water touched my skin.
Hey dream, this would be the last chance to get me out of this situation, you know?
“Did you wash your face?”
“...yup.”
After I dried the water from my face, I could clearly see Sumire in front of me. She jumped around like a rabbit and then pulled my hand.
I lazily cracked the egg and put it on top of the freshly cooked rice. For the final touch, I pour a slightly sweet shoyu. Meanwhile, Sumire looked very excited as she brought her bowl.
“Somehow she became attached to me.”
I had no recollection of any special occurrence, but ever since she called me by my name, she started speaking often.
It was a blessing that we could communicate now, but she was being too close. Of course there were times when I wanted to be alone, so it felt stuffy sometimes.
“Let’s eat together, Matsuri.”
“Yea, yea.”
She tapped the table and called me.
Her unkempt hair strands that swayed in the air reminded me of dead branches.
“You truly love this dish, huh. Why?”
“This is the first dish you made for me.”
“Uh-huh, don’t remember.”
She likely was saying a very moving thing, but as if people could remember every moment they made a rice topped with raw egg. In the first place, was this counted as ‘make’?
“You will dirty your clothes, be careful.”
I warned Sumire who gulped down the dish, she nodded while her cheek was stuffed. Pluck, a grain of rice fell. She didn’t realise, so she kept chewing the food.
“Fomefouw hyu ruk fo froun uph.” (TL note: “Somehow you look so grown up”)
“What is?”
Sumire continued to eat while talking.
“The smell of sake.”
After she said that, I tried to smell my own breath by putting my hand in front of my mouth. It stank.
I frowned at my hand, looking at it with contempt. Seeing my action, she peeked at me looking interested.
“You are amazing when you are drunk, Matsuri.”
“Amazing? In what way? Sensuality?”
“Umm…better to stay away from this topic.”
She sure got an attitude even though she was the one who started. Facing this girl’s laid back behaviour was simply too much for me who had yet to be fully awoken, I felt helpless.
The clock showed it was 8 in the morning. Today was supposed to be the day where I slept until noon, but thanks to Sumire’s shameless beating I ended up with a severe lack of sleep.
In the first place, why was she here? Even her uniform was neatly hung.
“You have no school today?”
“Yup, founding day.”
“Hum.”
“What about you? No work today?”
“If I have, I won’t take my time leisurely like this.”
“So you are free even though it’s Thursday?”
“Founding day.”
It was clearly a lie, but Sumire genuinely looked happy as she said, “So we are the same.”
My workplace “Hanazakarimai” had two designated day off, Thursday and Sunday. It was caused by the fact that most of the employees were mothers, and most of the school activities that needed parents’ participants were on Thursday. While for Sunday, most of the businesses were off during that day, so we also did the same.
There was no need to explain it properly to Sumire since she wasn’t the type to chase after the absolute truth anyway. Also, it was bothersome.
“Hey, there is nothing like a kiss mark in my nape, right?”
“I see nothing, why?”
“Nah…I had no recollection about yesterday. So I just kinda thought…”
“Hmmm?”
In the beginning she seemed clueless about what I was talking about, but after some time her face turned red like she figured out something. With that red face that resembled a boiled octopus, she swiftly escaped to the corner of the room.
“Y-yesterday, the vice manager was the one who took you home.”
“Ah, I see.”
Nonetheless, it still couldn’t guarantee my chastity. There was a possibility that I submitted my body to the vice manager. Let’s ask her tomorrow.
Nod, nod!
Along with Sumire’s vigorous movement that made it like her neck would snap anytime, I also started to touch my breakfast.
After we were done eating, Sumire appeared before me as I was washing the dishes.
“Do you have a lover, Matsuri?”
“Yeah I have.”
“I, I see.”
Sumire stared at me from the top of my head to the tip of my toe while sounding in awe.
“W-what kind of person? Dashing one?”
“They are very benevolent, and I think I want to stay with them forever.”
“Hyaa.”
Sumire turned red once again and got excited as she flapped her legs around.
“You want to meet them?”
“I-is it okay?!”
“Alright, just wait a minute.”
I dried my hand with the hand towel and after that I went to the living room leaving Sumire who stood in daze.
I took off my slipper and then dove into my untidied bed.
“This fellow is my lover.”
“Eh?”
“I said, this one here is my lover. We will always be together from now on, forever.”
Once I said my declaration, I squirmed looking for the best position, and closed my eyes.
“Good night.”
“Geez, Matsuri!”
She straddled me once again and shook my body. What’s up, you had a problem with someone else’s lover?
When I took a small glance, she scowled at me with extremely puffy cheeks.
“If you want a proper romance story, just look for other people.”
“This isn’t about that, let’s hang out somewhere today.”
Such was the downside of her fondness for me.
She talked a lot, the distance between us also became closer, still I didn’t really intend to create a situation where our relationship could be labelled as ‘close’. My feelings toward Sumire haven't changed, not even a bit ever since the first time I met her that day.
“Not happening, I planned to sleep for a whole day.”
“Eeeh.”
Once she heard my answer, she started to invade my bed. The heck was she doing. Hot, cramp, bothersome.
“Hey, are you really a high school student?”
“Indeed I am.”
See? Sumire pointed at her uniform that hung on the hanger.
“No, but there is also a possibility that you are an elementary school student who cosplayed as a high school student.”
“We went to my school the other day, right?”
“That one could be a dream.”
“It also could be a reality, though?”
“We will discover the truth once I am asleep.”
Guu.
I closed my eyes as I buried my face on the pillow.
“So, do you get the answer?”
The fluffiness invited me to the land of slumber. I let my body sink to my faded consciousness.
“Hello~?”
Aa, I wonder why napping during the holiday felt this amazing. Even this blanket was softer than usual.
“You sleep too, Sumire.”
Small figure embraced me from behind. Feeling her body touched mine like this, it truly had no sense of plumpness. This position got me cornered to the wall. If you really think of yourself as a high schooler, don’t just call someone older casually just by their name. Her manners made me doubtful of my own standing.
“Haaa.”
Why would things become like this…
Now when I reflected, it would be better if I turned down my mother’s request during the funeral.
No matter how scornful their gazes were, it didn’t compare with the bitterness I felt right now.
So unreasonable, I definitely don’t want to!
If only I strongly rejected the idea while sobbing like a kid while spouting those lines, then things might be better.
Doing things in that way wasn’t complicated. I figured out since I was still a kid, that kind of selfishness would be easily going through. When you wanted something, when you refused something, you could just cry loudly and then things would be okay somehow.
No, but…?
Then I had a question for myself.
Come to think of it, when was the last time I cried?
Crap, I didn’t have any recollection.
Not even me would have had no experience in crying. Naturally, I was crying the moment I came out from between my mother’s legs. No but that one shouldn’t be counted, I guess?
“Nnn.”
I gazed at the innocent face next to me.
It seemed like she really tried to sleep judging by her closed eyes and calm breath. Her pure appearance looked like someone who never faced any hardships, but she lost her mother a few weeks ago, didn’t she?
My memories brought me back to that day when she weeped so loud in the crowd.
Her tears reflected a lot of emotions, such weakness, fragility, and fleetingness; looking for something to hold on to.
What made her so sorrowful, so suffocated, so deep in frustration…
Somewhere in the corner of my heart, I harboured a slight curiosity of what was going on inside this tiny girl’s heart.
“...let’s see a movie.”
“Eh?”
Hearing my voice, Sumire swiftly raised her body.
“Sumire wants to watch KoiRowa. Everyone in the class said that they watched it.”
“Just go with them, then?”
“Uuuh…”
Like I hit the bulls-eye, Sumire faltered for a moment, but then she let out a deep breath.
“I, I properly have friends, okay? W-we were in the same group during the school trip, and we talked to each other.”
“Nah I didn’t ask. Also, is that counted as friends?”
“Is it not…?”
Sumire stared at me from a lower angle looking uneasy.
Well, I was the type who felt indifferent toward stuff like that. So it wasn’t like I had the qualification to advise others. Worst case, what I said might bite me later.
Putting aside the requirement to be considered as ‘friends’, I ended up playing the movie I recorded last week.
The plot was about a lover who turned out to be a cat that the protagonist had rescued before. My thought about this movie was whether this counted as fantasy, or science-fiction, or other genres, I couldn’t really put my finger on it.
“During that time, also, up until now, I truly am grateful,” was the point where the movie ended.
When I saw Sumire who watched it next to me, she sobbed so hard as her tears flowed down.
On the other hand, I couldn’t feel any wet sensation around my eyes. Could it be that my tear gland was clogged, or could it be that I didn’t have any?
“Uuuh…Bloom…”
Bloom was the cat’s name, if I wasn’t mistaken. I felt strangely sleepy in the middle so I couldn’t remember clearly.
“Fumu.”
Since I didn’t shed any tears when watching a movie like this, then I probably really couldn’t cry in the first place.
…not only cold but also dry, huh.
No, I still couldn’t be sure. It was possible that ‘adults’ were beings who no longer cried when watching these kinds of movies. It also could be that using crybaby Sumire who as a comparison was a mistake in the first place.
I simply didn’t get absorbed enough, so I didn’t feel moved. If I face a right and proper situation, I would definitely cry.
“Let’s watch another thing.”
“What about KoiRowa?”
“Ask your friends.”
“Ughh.”
***
“Hanaseri-san, you keep spacing out since earlier, are you okay? You have a dark circle under your eyes, you should sleep properly, you know?”
“Eh, ah, I’m sorry.”
I was working on the display when the vice manager approached me from behind.
In the end, I kept watching a lot of movies until past midnight, but still couldn’t cry until the last moment. At some point, Sumire who watched them next to me fell asleep first. This morning both of us were sort of absentminded due to lack of sleep.
“You don’t need to apologise since you didn’t make any mistakes anyway. I just worried about you. Also, I’m afraid that I forced you during the last drinking party.”
“Aa, about that. It was nothing once I woke up, please don’t pay it any mind.”
The vice manager appeared relieved as she said, “I see.”
“Come to think of it, what happened to me after the drinking party?”
“Since you seemed unable to walk by yourself, I accompanied you home by taxi. It was rude of me, but I used the key on your bag. Ah, but I properly asked for permission, okay? But since you were so drunk back then…”
“Then, it wasn’t like we spent the night together, eh.”
“Eh?”
The vice-manager who smiled up until that point suddenly turned stiff. Crap, I was being too straightforward.
But then, she quickly regained her usual composure and moved closer so that my fingers brushed against her skirt.
“Do you prefer that, Hanaseri-san?”
It was my turn to get shaken. Seeing my reaction, she stifled her laughter while murmuring, “I was joking.”
So she also could joke. It was a bit unexpected. She wasn’t a stiff person, but I always thought of her as someone with the most common sense in this place. Once we put aside her straightforwardness for a second, we could see her character clearly as a person.
“Also, you become really adorable when you are drunk.”
“Eh, what do you mean.”
“Fufu, it’s a secret.”
Sumire also diverted the topic last time. I wondered why. Did I become that weird when I was drunk?
“It was also unexpected that I found a girl in her uniform when I took you home.”
“Aa, about that.”
I see, come to think of it, they did meet.
“She was a weirdo, right? I’m sorry.”
“Of course no. Indeed she appeared scared in the beginning, but once she saw you she hurriedly brought over a glass of water. Until I left your place, she behaved so well she even bowed properly. Is she your little sister?”
“She’s simply my relative. There’s a special circumstance so she stays with me for the time being. It resembled a forced babysitting from my side.”
“Babysitting? But…”
The vice manager stopped at that point. Perhaps she didn’t feel any need to finish her words. Still, I was curious.
“Sorry to keep you so busy during this chaotic time.”
Was it? I did think it was a bother, but I didn’t think that it took a lot of my energy. Was it because Sumire behaved well? No way. No well-behaved kid would never wake the house owner for a bowl of raw egg rice by hitting them.
Then, was it because of my diligence? That also would be wrong. I didn’t do anything for her. I simply bought her clothes, pillow, and other stuff that might be necessary. Those were deeds that could be done as long as you worked and earned money. It didn't mean that I was especially kind.
“Ah right, Hanaseri-san. You made the Christmas tree popup art, right? It was well-received due to the illustrations.”
Perhaps she found me funny when I was contemplating that she laughed while tapping my shoulders. Somehow I started to think that she always appeared cheerful whenever she talked to me.
“Was it that good?”
“Yes. Everyone said the same good things after all, they even asked whether we especially commissioned it from professionals. Well, I honestly told them that we didn’t have the liberty to do that much, though. Do you study art, Hanaseri-san?”
“Nn, well…”
Honestly I would like to avoid that topic. I couldn’t bring myself to answer properly.
“I also think that you are so talented. For example, this almond tree is small, but even the way you draw the tip of the leaf is quite strong, it left a deep impression. Also the colouring is pretty picturesque, it looks like a photo. This is my personal impression as an amateur though. If I knew you were so good at this, I wish I relied on you earlier.
This flower shop accepted a limited reservation for small christmas trees once we entered the winter season. Every year, the staff took turns in drawing the popup art, but this year that responsibility fell on me. I wanted to turn it down, but since the others also appeared unwilling it would be too much if I also prioritised my selfishness, so I accepted the task.
On a side note, last year's popup was drawn by Shirakumo-san. One of the customers asked us, “Whose children draw this popup?” and that was the first and also the last time for her turn. I remembered that day Shirakumo-san went berserk and answered, “I’m a Picaso though!”. It was puzzling why she still hadn’t gotten fired until this day.
“Is it okay if I ask you for help again? Of course I won’t force you.”
“Well, I don’t really mind.”
“Thanks, you truly are a lifesaver. You can go home on time today, thank you for your help.”
Then the vice-manager left while moving her thin finger.
“So I can be of help.”
Since I didn’t do this job so passionately anyway. In the first place I hated flowers but worked as a florist. It was odd that someone like me who simply moved without any drive could help someone, with something, around somewhere.
Hmm, yeah I didn’t get it.
We arrived at afternoon break while my head was full of contemplating ever since morning. After the break, I was once again instructed to act as Tateyama-san’s guide.
When I looked for Tateyama-san while rubbing my stomach due to overeating, I heard someone’s voice.
“Listen here, why won’t you understand? Don’t you have any shame that you get rebuked almost everyday by someone younger like me? To think that a person at your age keeps bowing her head while apologising. See here, it’s so dirty. You can’t even clean properly, are you really a housewife?”
“My apologies, my apologies…”
“See? I don’t need your apology, I need your commitment to do better. This is the reason why you can’t do anything. Are you thinking that as long as you can endure this without doing nothing, it would be okay? Look here, can you stop making me look like a bad guy? I simply warn you since you are really bad at memorising your job.
Even though the customers were present, Takahashi-san got angry at Tateyama-san. Since Takahasi-san’s voice was quite intimidating when she was angry, Tateyama-san appeared so timid.
Uwaa, I couldn’t easily call for her now.
“No, you can clean up later…forget it, just don’t do anything, it would be meaningless anyway. Have you ever thought about us, who should keep checking on your work making sure you don’t mess them up? Just please, please do one job properly. How did you survive on your previous workplaces anyway? With this kind of ethic, of course you are completely useless everywhere. This shop was in dire need for people, that’s why you were accepted, but once we get new recruit—”
“Umm, excuse me.”
Takahashi-san’s talk seemed longer than I first thought and since I saw no end to her nagging, I swiftly cut her talk.
“What is it?”
Her face reminded me of a noh mask as she gawked at me sharply.
“They said it’s okay if you go back to your usual duty, I will cover for Tateyama-san.”
“Hmm, lucky me.”
Hearing my words, Takahashi-san instantly delighted and quickly left us. I bet it was because the trouble had been redirected to me. Whenever I did self reflection, I couldn't help but wonder why I keep having this kind of troublesome role.
“Well then, let’s go back to work.”
I told her to resume the work that had already been waiting for us without particularly touching the previous event.
Since she received Takahasahi-san’s wraith, her face looked pale, but after some time passed, it went back to normal.
Thus, my daily routines with Tateyama-san continued. Based on my observation, it wasn’t like that she didn’t have any willingness to work. She properly took notes, she also was quite punctual. It seemed that she was bad with calculation, but she was doing well in detailed works. In short, it wasn’t right to say she was completely useless.
That was one thing though, sometimes she would stand still, daydreaming like she had something on her mind. It happened quite a lot in one day, I started to think that might be the reason which hindered her performance.
I stared at Tateyama-san who was currently in the said state, and after a while it looked like she snapped back to reality and hurriedly apologised.
“You don’t have to apologise for that. I also usually did the work half asleep during the morning.”
Once I said that, Tateyama-san vigorously shook her head and then resumed her work. She tried to fire up, it seemed.
“...do you have something on your mind?”
“Eh?”
Since there were no customers, I asked Tateyama-san who tidied the money.
“Since you look exhausted.”
Tateyama-san said nothing for moments, pondering.
“Thank you for your concern, but it’s okay.”
She slightly bent her waist to thank me, but she didn’t deny the problem.
After that we made sure that the sales matched the cashier input, and since it showed no mistakes I breathed a sigh of relief, and that was when Tateyama-san spoke.
“I have a son and he’s in high school.”
She was in doubt earlier, I wonder what made her talk now. I was curious but it was common for people to hesitate to speak due to the unknown outcome, no?
“That one high school, do you know? The one that famous due to their sailor uniform.”
“Aa, yes I do know.”
I looked it up on my phone just a few days ago, I even went there too. It seemed like her son went to that school. What a surprising coincidence.
“And about my son, he behaves oddly these days.”
“Oddly?”
“I think he might have stolen something.”
I glanced at the man with black suits who gazed at the flower display outside the store, but then he went away. It seemed like he didn’t intend to buy any today. Once I made sure he was away, I rested my back on the wall while listening to Tateyama-san’s story.
“I found an unfamiliar pen case in his bag a few days ago, and when I asked him about it he said that he bought it on his own. Still, he behaved so strangely, I started to think that it might be his classmate’s. I tried to confront him about that, but he kept getting away. I already consulted my husband about this matter, but he’s so busy that he still couldn’t do anything.”
This might be the first time for me to see Tateyama-san speak so quickly. Everytime she talked with the vice-manager or Takahashi-san, she always looked down and negative. I was honestly a bit taken aback.
“And truthfully, my current husband is his step father. Due to our household circumstances, we often moved around and by the time I realised, he already harboured some kind of refusal toward me. I assume that it has something to do with his behaviour. If I let him be, I’m afraid things will escalate to the point of no going back.”
Tateyama-san poured her worries with a trembling voice.
“I see.”
This didn't mean that I had interest in her circumstances. I couldn’t care less about her life, or being sympathetic to her unfortunate circumstances. I also didn’t really care about her work ethics or her mental scar caused by Takahashi-san’s relentless anger.
What I did was simply a basic manner of how adults interact as part of society.
There was nothing like worries, not even a slight concern related to Tateyama-san’s problem or what she should do from here on.
Which was why I simply uttered nonchalant responses for the sake of formality.
“My apologies, I phrased it like some sort of excuse for my bad performance. Matters concerning households are pretty common for everyone, right?”
“No, it’s okay.”
When I listened to my own answer, it truly had no emotion it gave off an impression of ignorance.
“You can only do your best, eh.”
I wonder how Tateyama-san felt when she heard this emotionless encouragement that I myself had no understanding of its purpose.
With a slight doubt, I took a glance at her. She moved her lips but no sound came out, those dry and pale lips seemed like looking for something.
Now I felt like I should say better things to her even out of obligation. If only the one next to her was not a cold person like me, she might be able to find something that could help her solve this matter. Or maybe, at least she could feel a bit better since the weight in her heart became slightly lighter.
After she finished refilling the change for the register, she straightly moved to her next task. It was an easy job since she simply needed to move the flowers to another container, but she was so clumsy that once she picked the container up and walked, the leaves scattered.
She also took them to the wrong place, so once again I could hear Takahashi-san’s yell from afar.
While all those happened, I did my own task.
Snap, snap, I cut the branches, and the undesirables fell.
Apparently these branches who properly grew due to the nutrients and basked in the sun would prevent the flower’s growth in general. Also when the leaves rubbed the flower nearby, the crookedness on the flower would be unavoidable. Moreover when it grew too much that it touched the ground, it could cause a bug's invasion. So many reasons to remove these branches.
I didn’t care and wasn’t curious enough like intellectuals who would often contemplate whether something was right or wrong.
From here on I still intended to do based on what I believe, so I didn’t really want to recover from my previous mistake and gave a heartfelt encouragement to Tateyama-san or anyone else.
Actually I didn’t really mind putting up a front and appeared to be compassionate rather than showering people with jeers. Nonetheless, as long as I didn’t know the outcome of that action, I wouldn’t let myself proceed with it.
I was that kind of human.
I was someone with that personality, from a long time ago.
Snap.
The branches that just grew fell to the ground. Me who saw those fallen branches—
—for some reason, was reminded of the tattered sketch book which I had used ever since my childhood.
***
Comments
Post a Comment